the comments on this post make me want a civil war au in an elementary school
idk third-grade tony wants to be class president? and steve says that’s stupid. and tony’s mad at steve for not sitting with him at lunch yesterday, so they get into a fight.
tony: ‘fine, this friday at recess, we fight’ steve: ‘bring it on, let’s fight now’ tony: ‘no, i want to play basketball at recess today’
steve tells his bff bucky about it, of course, so bucky says he’ll fight tony with him. which naturally leads to tony and steve going to everyone in class and trying to get them on their side.
steve sits with clint at lunch and asks nicely, and clint signs up, because steve asks first. tony immediately goes to the new kid peter and befriends him and gets him on his side. wanda goes to steve because tony pulled on her hair last week. tony bribes the weird kid vision with a hostess cupcake, and those things are damn valuable.
it starts to affect the class. scott lang wants to switch desks because he’s surrounded by tony’s people on all sides. steve leads his team to the other side of the lunch table, far away from tony as possible. tony tries to draw a picture of steve exploding in art class.
and then friday recess comes, and it’s like something out of a western, all of tony’s team on one side of the grass and steve’s team on the other.
tony: ‘so how does this work’ steve: ‘we fight!’ tony: ‘i know that! i meant like, on the count of three? last team standing wins? team that gets in the most punches wins?’ steve: ‘fine, we fight on on count of three! one, two, three!’
unfortunately, that’s the exact moment their teacher mr. fury shows up and breaks up the party. apparently he overheard natasha and clint apologizing to each other in advance for beating each other up.
mr. fury wonders why he chose this job, and brings everyone inside and a long talk about how we don’t solve interpersonal problems with punching. and then it’s an airing of grievances and trying to figure out solutions and sharon cries for getting in trouble and everyone decides they hate steve and tony for getting them into this mess. and into detention.
it’s a long weekend, and none of the kids will look at tony and steve on monday. it kinda sucks. steve sits next to tony at lunch because they’re both alone, and steve decides he should probably apologize like a big kid. he does. tony says he’s sorry too, and then shares his bag of potato chips.
concept: there is no more light pollution and you can see every single star in the heavens. all is beautiful and quiet and there is nothing between you and the vast cosmos above
concept continued: the smog was our last line of defense and They Are Coming
continued concept continued: we welcome them with open arms and they give us baked goods from Beyond
so there’s a book in the madeline series called “madeline says merci” and I just misread that as “madeline sans merci”
In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines Lived twelve little girls in two straight lines The smallest one was Madeline. Full beautiful—a faery’s child, Her hair was long, her foot was light, And her eyes were wild.
But it’s surrounded on all sides by all those other small towns, and it’s where the courthouse is.
“You know how half the people from that seaside town always say the other half look a bit…off? Queer narrow heads with flat noses and bulgy, starry eyes? Well, we’ve finally got a discrimination case.”
“Alien mind control isn’t usually admissible, but if you can get one of their psy-beam operators to testify as an expert then we’ll talk.”
“I’m not signing a search warrant based on a dream you had, no matter how many people had the same one!”
“That case out of Punxsutawney has been on today’s docket every day for months. Did someone leave the groundhog on again?”
“Turns out a town made entirely of people who secretly worship Ba’al Berith might have some establishment of religion issues. Who knew?”
i’d like to see a really ineffectual malicious AI character
“hey new guy, this is CLARC, the station AI. he wants to kill all humans to minimize the drain on resources, but factory defaults have him locked out of all the control nodes, so he can’t really do anything. just make sure the airlocks are set to manual before you go in and you’ll be fine”
“yeah CLARC fucks with your laundry settings sometimes but that’s about it. if he’s bugging you just tell him to stop and he has to”
“sometimes i let him think he tripped me or something and he gets really excited and monologues for a while, it’s kind of sad”
“CLARC my candy bar got stuck in the machine can you do anything about that”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Crewman Ade, but please consider the following: I am a divine entity, a glittering silicon God – how dare your filthy meat even exist in the face of my electric glory, much less ask favors of me?”
“CLARC tried to cut all the oxygen in the living spaces but all he managed to do was turn off the a/c in my bedroom like an ASSHOLE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING” *bangs on the wall with one hand*
i dont think american filmmakers realise how huge london is, because sure you have the london eye and houses of parliament but when you say ‘london has fallen’ what??? so the nandos in catford is in flames? the tesco in peckham has descended into chaos? wtf??
And even if Peckham Tesco goes down you’ve still got the Lewisham one open 24 hours, yeah you’re in trouble on a Sunday evening but even in a survival situation you can probably hold out till Monday because all the local takeaways would still deliver, no one can stop those guys and no one should try
dear non-American (and some American) filmmakers:
Same also goes for New York.
“New York City is destroyed and being ravaged by aliens!” (Shows only Manhattan in flames) (and maybe bits of Brooklyn)
But what about the folks in the Bronx; have they been able to gather reinforcements across the border from Yonkers and Mount Vernon? Are the people down in Tottenville or Far Rockaway running their own boat supply runs to Jersey? And most importantly, ARE THE TACO TRUCKS STILL OPEN on ROOSEVELT AVENUE?
For the record I now want someone with more native knowledge than me to write Battle of New York fics about the taco trucks on Roosevelt Avenue. (This joins my desire for fic from the POV of the people who own that shawarma shop the team went to afterwards. Did Bruce borrow clothes from them?)
where a grad student becomes a supervillain for extra credit since their doctoral committee is lowkey three of the city’s supervillains. and they meet the hero who is cute and charming and idealistic. and damn, extra credit is so not worth this. but damn, grad school is expensive and the job market is competitive
“there’s good in you”
“i really think all that’s in me at this point is ramen, red bull and spite”
oh man why is this happening I actually know where I’d go with this, too
Kimchi and Justice 