okay we ship darcy with steve or bucky or loki or clint or bruce or tony and even thor and so on
but imagine sif/darcy
tough beautiful asgardian warrior goddess falling for sarcastic quirky earthling
sif asking thor how he courts jane to try and learn the proper way to court darcy
darcy introducing sif to donuts and music
sif and darcy cuddling on darcy’s small ugly couch watching a movie
please gimmie more of this
This is …actually my Sif-ship. In part because I can also totally see Sif feeling more than a little bit bewildered at her reaction to this tiny imperious mortal who kind of needs to learn some manners but is at the same time totally enthralling THOR HELP WHAT IS WITH EARTH WOMEN I JUST THOUGHT YOU’D BEEN HIT ON THE HEAD ONE TOO MANY TIMES. D:
Darcy and Sif planning a shopping trip together and Sif has to stop and clarify, “This is a courting ritual, correct?”
“Well, if you want it to be, though dragging someone through change-rooms usually comes later in the relationship…”
“I have no wish to be presumptuous! Should we perhaps postpone?”
#sif deliberately being as formal and decorous as possible #half because she wants to make it clear this is a COURTSHIP #not a jump-the-pretty-girl-from-nowhere #and partly because it makes darcy make that face #that she makes everyone else make so often #and that face on darcy is adorable
So you mean, “Sif being a giant troll and pretending she thinks two dozen blood-red roses is an appropriate second date gift, because watching Darcy cart them around London under her arm all evening is totally hilarious.”
Yes that is in fact basically what I mean. 😀 (On the other hand those are HELLA fine roses and nobody from Asgard will doubt her sincerity.)
“i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”
“i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me – and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”
SNOWBALL FIGHTS
“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning – whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”
person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)
“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”
“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
“’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”
“we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”
“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”
TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you)
“we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together” FRIENDS AU – “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here – damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl”
“we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now”
DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”)
TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)
“there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas”
PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF
“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”
tbh i dont get why most people assume that robots are always cold
like have u felt a laptop while its working? its kinda not exactly cold yo
tbh any piece of machinery thats working hard to function is usually not cold, the only time its ever cold is when its turned off
so id like to think while a robot is awake and functioning they could have the potential to be as warm as a human being :0
never thought about this before but now it’s obvious
although like i hope they’ve actually improved cooling tech by the time they’re building androids bc my laptop can actually get so hot it makes THE ROOM hot and it’s only the size of a laptop so potentially an android who was thinking very hard would be a veritable furnace
think too hard, overheat, faint
fainting couches for androids omg
Fainting couches for androids is the best possible thing
file under things i didn’t know i needed in my life
humans who carry around those chemical freeze-packs in case they need something to drape across their friend’s fevered brow
humans who insist on holding a parasol for their robot friend on sunny days
a robot draping herself over a fainting couch in distress and a bunch of worried humans mobbing up to fuss and fan her and bring her some cool water and pat her hand and gallantly offer to beat up whatever alarmed her
too cute
I’ve reblogged this before but it didn’t have the art. Oh gosh ❤
From a conversation with the girl earlier today: the Avengers as Crystal Gems. Readysetgo!
Like it would make a lot of sense for superheroes to like, double up. two or more people alternating in the one suit:
you’ve had a REALLY tough week but some dude is holding up a bank??? no problem ur bro can do it, you’ll catch the next next one.
in fact “AH YES THE SUPERHERO IS BADLY INJURED, NOW IS MY TIME TO TAKE OVER THE WO-wait what the fuck? I saw you take a bullet literally two days ago??? foiled again”
“I’m just saying that Angela looks REALLY like the city’s super X” “yeaaaaah true but she was with me that one time I saw super X take down a mugger” “oh…. okay then….”
ur fighting styles aren’t going to be IDENTICAL no matter what, anyone who tries to find a pattern is gonna be really confused.
it would be less of a big deal if you wanted a weekend off. none of the “AND WHERE WAS OUR BRAVE HERO IN OUR TIME OF DESPERATE NEED??” “I was out of town for my sister’s wedding alright, i didnt know the giant robots were going to attack. CHILL.”
like yeah you’d have to have roughly the same body type and the same powers (or maybe not, see fighting style above)
it would be ruin the illusion if things were really bad and you needed two people at once – but why stop at two people and one superhero identity?? why not a half dozen friends as a duo or trio? a whole 20 of ye masquerading as a five piece band??
“shit its aliens again. red suit and orange suit NOW” “no we’ll need someone who can fly, take out the green instead” “Well do YOU want to wear green? cause i’m not squeezing my hips into that, not today my friend” “Can’t Em do it?? they haven’t been on duty all week” “Em’s having lunch with their mum at three” “wasn’t green meant to be a wildcard for emergencies?” “well we can’t take out red with orange, don’t ANY of you know ANYthing about colour theory” “ALIENS DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COLOUR THEORY ARE YOU COMING OR NOT”
Just like … keep muddying the waters until your secret identities are totally safe.
You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye
Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend
I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!
Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions
Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn
Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you
*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*
I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.
(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)
OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.
oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals
i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds
You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.
Y’know what would be a cool idea? Taking the commonly-accepted fantasy races and swapping around their domains and associations. Just to shake things up a bit.
Elves as subterranean builders and miners, spindly and pale from the lack of sunlight and with a highly developed sense of hearing, even to the point of echolocation, to get around in places with zero light. Talented craftsmen with small, precise fingers, masters of prosthetic technology because it’s all too easy for a delicate limb to get snagged in machinery or crushed in a cave-in.
Dwarves that are mountain and alpine-forest dwelling herdsmen, sturdy against the extreme climate. They pride themselves on the understanding that they know what’s important and are some of the best cavalry around- even able to tame and forge agreements with the big cats that wander the area. With solid legs and powerful shoulders from running up slopes or rappelling down them after stray lambs. Lowland dwarves that are seafarers, as surefooted on the rigging of a tossing ship as their mountain cousins are on the slopes.
Goblins and orcs that are city-builders and empire-makers, architects that build walled citadels and metropolises, the diplomats that pull the other races together and reap the profits in the form of the most trade agreements. Building roads to link settlements together and guarding them with rigorously trained and well-outfitted soldiers. Wealthy orc merchants who flaunt status with painstakingly etched tusks, inlaid with gold or precious minerals.
So basically all these separate posts are kind of combining into my head into this one epic fantasy series with mermaids and knights and dragons and pirates
where all the relevant characters are lesbians.
Please write this… And add in a few irrelevant straight males too :0 For representation ya know hehehehe
its so weird how ur gender supposedly dictates which shapes and textures of fuckening cloth u are permitted to drape over ur flesh prison
I like to imagine that a demon who is trapped in their human vessel is saying this
demon: and tbh wtf is up with hair like??? some genders have to have longer strands of dead proteins emitting from their scalps but other genders have to keep their protein strands short??? weird shit
possessed person: yes the gender binary is stupid and arbitrary can we be quiet now
demon: also this whole makeup thing is suspect as hell like why cant all humans put pigment all over their oral openings why would that be an issue
possessed person: craig please i am trying to sleep
Kimchi and Justice 