Honestly I can just imagine future Ankh-Morpork historians being so PUMPED when someone about a hundred years from now is going through the attics at Pseudopolis Yard and finds a box full of the letters between Captain Carrot and his parents, because Carrot kept every single one and his parents had the habit of replying to him on the back of his own letters, so they have years’ worth of both sides of the correspondences of an important historical figure –
– but then they curse him in the same breathe, because Carrot will go on for pages about the cutting of a specific mine shaft, but Disc-shattering political events will be mentioned in one sentence like ‘altso We wennt to Klartch and stop ped, the war and. I organised a foot-the-ball Match it was Very hot.’
In a country that has seen a rash of anti-LGBTQ violence, Geraldine Roman’s sweep of the Bataan district seat is an especially encouraging win for activists. She ran a campaign that emphasized her politics over her gender, but the win is made more meaningful for the stringently Catholic country’s pattern of violating the rights of LGBTQ individuals — and of course, their very own (now elected) “Donald Trump.”
Yesterday the choice Juliet had was to let her mom keep talking, or to interrupt and learn a little more about how big rooster sex parts are. The winner by a slim margin was to learn rooster science, so that’s what we’ll do! THANKS, INTERNET. Again there’s only one choice in the first node, so we’ll keep going and get TWO nodes today!
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LEARN MORE ABOUT ROOSTER PARTS, HOW BIG ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?
Gosh, I don’t know … about the size of a small egg?
Okay. Cool. Gross.
MOVING ON
Your mom says she wants you to get married and have kids right away. You know, like she did when she was twelve! She says you’re overdue, Juliet!
MOMS, am I right??
Anyway, she’s organized this party tonight so that you can meet your future husband, to whom you are, as of a few hours ago, already promised. She’s set it all up, wheels are already in motion, so you’ll definitely be marrying the dude you meet tonight. Also, she says, it’s a masked ball, so everyone will be hiding their faces!
You note to yourself that this is a terrible themed party to have if you actually want to judge how attractive people are, so this dude she wants you to marry must be have some problems.
“Juliet,” your mom says, “don’t you think this surprise mandatory arranged marriage is the most wonderful news??”
Alright, this is getting serious. If you keep doing everything your mother asks of you, you’re going to end up married to a stranger, and not just any stranger, but one who thinks the best way to meet women is to get their moms to promise women to him sight unseen. You wanna get out of here, see the world, maybe start making some decisions for yourself?
Or do you want to say “Yes Mom” automatically?
OPTION ADVENTURE: Run past them, tear out of the house, never look back
OPTION MAYBE MARRIAGE IS ITS OWN ADVENTURE: Say “Yes Mom” automatically.
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Reblog to run away for new adventures, fav to stay put and agree with your Mom and see what she’s got up her sleeve, and we’ll go with the winning option tomorrow! And don’t forget to order your copy of the book! ❤
For SOME reason, I have a feeling OPTION ADVENTURE is gonna win out over OPTION “MAYBE MARRIAGE IS ITS OWN ADVENTURE”??
Ryan North’s choose your own adventure comics are some of my favorites. (the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #7 anyone?)
The “I am a piece of shit and nobody will ever love me” factoid is actually a statistical error. You are actually are fantastic and infinitely worthy of people’s company. That person you used to care about, who taught you to hate yourself by abandoning you, is an outlier and should not have been counted
this is the greatest and most positive use of a meme that i have ever seen.
Kimchi and Justice 