I can dead be sobbing in front of you with a broken heart and I’ll still crack a joke

you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess

“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”

“Chess, in particular, had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the king lounged about doing nothing. If only the pawns would’ve united, maybe talked the rooks around, the whole board could’ve been a republic in about a dozen moves.”
-Terry Pratchett, Thud

saxifraga-x-urbium:

dingo-inna-domino-mask:

books-and-whatever:

halorvic:

This bird looks like how I feel

I love this artist’s style so much!

Also this bird’s expression.

@saxifraga-x-urbium look a birb

what an excellent dinosaur

qglas:

shouldnt:

(p+l)(a+n) = pa+pn+la+ln

I just foiled your plan

Do you ever just stare intensely at a joke and wish you had not cheated in crucial high school courses

She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s hella hella ace

Scholar 1: *writes a thing*
Scholar 2: Here is my review of his thing. In closing, it is shit.
Scholar 1: It has come to my attention that Scholar 2 referred to my work as shit. I have for you now an essay on why my work is NOT shit and why Scholar 2 is henceforth dead to me.
Scholar 2: It has been brought to my attention that Scholar 1-

soundingonlyatnightasyousleep:

vicroc4:

pantsless-serket:

pantsless-serket:

i just found out about the existence of the Chinese water deer and?????

ohmygod????

look at it. whathfcuk

what the hell is this thing. why does it look like a doge deer. a derge. what.

update: they share a common ancestor with whales.

i no longer understand nature.

sabretooth dog-deer-whale-thing

@wellntruly whaaaaaaaaat.

thorctopus:

misshoneywheeler:

so-caffeinated:

It’s okay if you write fanfic as a way to hone your skills until you are comfortable writing original fic.

It’s okay if you write fanfic because you love fanfic and don’t intend to ever write something original.

It’s okay if you only ever write one fanfic to work through some problems in your real life.

It’s okay if you write fanfic your whole life because you just can’t help falling in love with characters.

There’s no wrong way to write fanfic. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO WRITE FANFIC. Write what you love. Love what you write.

Be proud of your accomplishments, not everyone could achieve them.

It’s okay if you STILL write fanfic once you’re comfortable writing original fic.

It’s okay if you like coming up with fic ideas but never actually write them.

It’s okay to play and write the bits you like without making it a long, comprehensive epic.

It’s okay to write a long, comprehensive epic.

And the best part is: no matter what you like to do, there will be someone out there who loves to read it.

YES. THIS.

Help me educate my dad!

ghkgyudzqkjjk:

I’m trying to educate my dad on my conditions and he’s willing to read books about them. So if you know of any good books on pots, EDS, fibromyalgia, depression, gad, panic disorder, PTSD please let me know!

She knew Sam was alive and well, because only Sam made people that angry.

Lady Sybil, in The Fifth Elephant

This is an excellent description of Sam Vimes.

(via the-last-punbender)

(via thehistorymonks)

@into-the-weeds