yknow if romeo had just Cried on juliets corpse for a couple hours instead of drinking poison Right Then they would have been Fine
The moral of the story is: always take time to cry for a few hours before making important decisions.
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here’s the deal with self care, for me:
pleasure, in the fun late-capitalism hellhole of present-day america, is treated like a luxury. it’s expensive. it’s frivolous. it’s guilty. if we want to eat ice cream out of the carton and be socially acceptable at the same time, we’d better have earned that ice cream. maybe by like running a marathon or getting dumped by an asshole. if we’re going to duck into the corner store and buy fresh flowers, it’s because we’ve had a hard week, not because flowers are nice. we can take a day off work, but only if we’re sick. we have to suffer before we’re allowed extra kindness.
in this equation pleasure is optional (irresponsible, even), except when it’s a balm for suffering.
however! we need pleasure to live. a life without nice feelings in it is like a diet with no vitamins in it. it’ll make you sick and eventually it’ll kill you. we know this because people with depression stop feeling pleasure, and they often kill themselves. left untreated, depression is a fatal disease.
pleasure is not optional. pleasure is not a luxury. without it, we die. that is literally the opposite of a luxury.
because pleasure is treated like a luxury, and priced accordingly, it is fucking hard to get. it’s hard to take time to relax and see loved ones when corporations aren’t required to offer paid vacation. it’s hard to buy that special face scrub or art print or pretty yarn when it costs $35 and student loans are breathing down your neck. so pleasure gets saved up for when things are really bad. pleasure gets budgeted. pleasure, once again, becomes something we have to earn by abstaining and hurting and gritting our teeth.
do this to people long enough and pleasure becomes potently associated with guilt. this thing we need desperately to stay alive is suddenly something we can’t seek out without looking over our shoulder and wondering if we’re allowed to have it.
that’s why it’s so important that we talk about self care, and tell ourselves and each other that it is okay to do things that feel good. it is necessary to do things that feel good. we have to uncouple suffering and pleasure, because the idea that we have to earn feeling good by first feeling bad is monstrous and wrong.
take care of yourselves, darlings. don’t feel bad about it.
this is p important
self care
How to make super easy super delicious hot chocolate
I made chocolate-orange hot chocolate tonight and it was SO GOOD. And it has TWO INGREDIENTS (or three, depending on how thick you like your chocolate) and not very many steps. YAY!
INGREDIENTS:
*chocolate orange, or other tasty eating chocolate.
*heavy cream
*milk (optional)
EQUIPMENT:
*small saucepan
*stirring implement of some kind (i prefer a wire whisk)
*mug
INSTRUCTIONS:
1) Acquire chocolate orange. If you do not have/do not like chocolate oranges, other eating chocolate will do, although the higher quality the better. When not using chocolate oranges i usually use those little Dove Promises guys.
2) Acquire small saucepan. Larger saucepans (and more chocolate) are helpful if you’re making chocolate for more than one person.
3) spread the chocolate across the bottom of the pan.
This is about a quarter of a chocolate orange Please ignore how dirty my stove is. Note that I didn’t spread it all that carefully, figuring that the chocolate would melt pretty quickly (it did).
4) Turn the burner on AS LOW AS POSSIBLE. Chocolate burns easily, but it ought to behave itself if you turn the stove on as low as you can get it and pay attention to the pot.
here you see the mostly-melted chocolate. I whisked it a little to encourage the last bits to melt.
5) Once the chocolate is mostly melted, dribble in some cream.
Notice that the chocolate clumped up a bit and didn’t want to mix in (especially near the edges). Fear not! This is just a thing chocolate does sometimes. Keep stirring and it will incorporate.
Keep stirring….
THERE we go.
6) Keep adding cream by dribbles and mixing it in until the chocolate doesn’t do the clumpy thing anymore. This will probably take four or five sets of dribbles-and-stirring.
7) Taste the chocolate. You might, as i did, decide that you added an insufficient amount of chocolate – go ahead and put in some more if you want.
(yes, i put in most of the rest of the orange. shush.) Stir until it has melted all the way in.
8) add a little more cream if you want, depending on how thick you like your drinking chocolate. If you like it thick enough to stand a spoon in, you’re probably done. Otherwise, add a bit more cream.
9) If this concoction is just too rich for you (and it is pretty damn rich) or if you want to stretch it without using up your ENTIRE stash of heavy cream (which is expensive), now is the time to add some milk. Just pour it in and stir.
10) Continue to heat on ULTRA MEGA LOW until you have reached the desired temperature. (because chocolate has such a low melting point, it will probably happen that the top of the chocolate is just lukewarm even though the chocolate has all melted in.) Keep an eye on it though, so it doesn’t burn or develop a skin from getting too hot.
11) Pour into a mug. If you want, deglaze the pan with more milk (pour milk in to cover up all the chocolate sticking to the sides and bottom of the pan, heat GENTLY and stir to get the chocolate off the pot and into the milk) to get a much-more-diluted-but-still-tasty drink. Why waste chocolate, right?
AND THAT’S IT! Enjoy your delicious treat.
Properly organized fox storage
Please refill left fox at earliest convenience.
When rabbi telushkin talks about Elijah, he’s like “how did this grouchy, bad-tempered prophet become the mythical grandpa of the entire jewish people? Why not a more personable prophet? We could have had somebody nice and jolly like Santa Claus instead of this man”
And then he basically says it’s because Elijah just can’t be satisfied, he didn’t even die, he stayed alive and just disappeared into the sky out of sheer annoyance at the unsatisfactory nature of existence and he will be clumping around the world forever, glaring at things and yelling at people, until the messiah comes
“disappeared into the sky out of sheer annoyance at the unsatisfactory nature of existence”
omg please tell me about this Elijah dude, he sounds exactly like my kind of dude
Where to begin? He’s the Trickster figure of Judaism is what I always say, at once the loudest and the sneakiest of the prophets.
He spent his whole career denouncing a bad king and his even more problematic wife. They almost killed him a few times, but he survived, and as mentioned above, never actually died, just ascended into heaven in a fiery chariot. (This is after he basically tells God he’s just too damn tired to prophet anymore.) He brought a child back from the dead through prayer.
He held a prophet-off with the prophets of Baal. Basic challenge: we each put up a sacrifice. The one whose god accepts it with fire wins. He sits back and makes fun of them while they do their stuff…”YELL LOUDER. MAYBE HE’S ASLEEP”. When it’s his turn, he pours water all over his offering, and it goes up in flames from heaven anyway. (My teacher in my Nevi’im class mentioned, in passing, that there’s crude oil in the region.)
In his not-dead-just-semi-retired afterlife, he attends every Seder and bris worldwide. It’s said he will herald the arrival of Moshiach.
He was, and remains, kind of a crank. But he’s always there for the people who need him.
There are a million legends.
“My teacher in my Nevi’im class mentioned, in passing, that there’s crude oil in the region.”
Religious leaders using sneaky pyrotechnics is a thing I like.
No major opinions on Elijah (other than the prophet competition being really cool) but the OP has a really impressive concentration of Hamilton references.
[AHAB]
How does a grouchy, bad-tempered son of a Tishbite
Dropped in a forgotten age straight off a Torah page
Grow up to be a prophet and a sage?[ELISHA]
The rover with the shofar
Got so far by preaching woe for
The foes o’ Jehovah
– and moreover –
Started out in a desert
With just a cave roof for cover[MOSHIACH]
Then idolatry came, and desecration reigned
Our land saw its future drip, dripping down the drain
He went with malice to the palace, a message in his brain
And he spoke his first refrain, said that God would hold the rain[AHAB]
Well the word got around, they said this kid’s pretty holy
Rails against the wicked, cares about the lowly
He’s the only one of all of us who dares stand up to Omri
And the world’s gonna know your name – what’s your name, man?[ELIJAH]
Eliyahu haNavi
My name is Eliyahu haNavi
And there’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait, just you wait…[WIDOW OF ZAREPHATH]
After three years met the Baalites, said let’s have a competition
We each provide a sacrifice, we see who gets ignition
High on a hill, with their kill, their prayers shrill[COMPANY]
And Elijah got fire but the Baalites got nil[GOD]
They put him under pressure so he fled into the desert
Woulda been likely tarred and feathered but I found him, took his measure
He started meditating on My most sacred Name
He was fasting, he was blasting all his foes with holy flame[COMPANY]
Eliyahu haNavi
We are waiting in the wings for you
You could never back down, you never learned to take your time
Oh Eliyahu haNavi
When Eretz Yisrael sings for you
Will they know what you overcame?
Will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the same…[AHAB]
His chariot’s in Heaven now, see if you can spot him
Just another righteous soul ascending from the bottom
Just another prophet urging penitence on Sodom
But me? I fought with him.[ELISHA]
Me? I worked with him.[MOSHIACH]
Me? I wait for him.[WIDOW OF ZAREPHATH]
Me? I saved him.[GOD]
And Me? I’m the power that awed him.[COMPANY]
There’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait![AHAB]
What’s your name, man?[ELIJAH]
Eliyahu haNavi!Holy shit Scott, can you do that on command for any character?
If so, can you write me an Aaron Burr, Sir about Isaac Newton?
So, without committing to ever doing this again, and while discouraging future requests of this sort (at least until I open my ask-box again) because they’re kind of nerd-sniping:
[NEWTON] Pardon me, are you Gottfried L? Well?
[LEIBNIZ] That depends. Who’s asking?
[NEWTON] Bloody hell. Well. My name is Isaac Newton. I’m at your service…well…I’ve read some of your stuff…
[LEIBNIZ] I’m getting nervous.
[NEWTON] Hell. There was some math I attempted that may have preempted a theory of yours – but you beat me to the printer, L. It was about the area under a curve –
[LEIBNIZ] You found the integral?
[NEWTON] Yes! I did it before you did, took the limit and computed, you think you’re undisputed, but you aren’t undisputed…so how’d you do it? How’d you publish it so fast?
[LEIBNIZ] God didn’t let the opportunity go past.
[NEWTON] You’re a theologian! Of course! I’m a theologian too! God, I wish there was Armageddon we could face head-on to prove we know more than we let on.
[LEIBNIZ] Can I buy you a drink?
[NEWTON] That would be nice.
[LEIBNIZ] And while we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice: Be less crazy.
[NEWTON] What?
[LEIBNIZ] Think more seriously.
[NEWTON] Huh.
[LEIBNIZ] Don’t waste your life upon weird Biblical conspiracy. You want to use your brain? Those who get too pious go insane.
[DESCARTES, PASCAL, BERKELEY] What time is it?! Showtime!!!
[LEIBNIZ] Like I’m sayin’…
When the bae thinks ur trying to cuddle but really you are just sapping their warmth to fuel your own reptilian body
Kimchi and Justice 