solitarycheese:

surfingpichu:

mahlerlove:

jaschaheifetzvevo:

writerofthought:

whatshouldwecallconservatory:

samelnicomposer:

whatshouldwecallconservatory:

fastidious-damsel:

whatshouldwecallconservatory:

Stravinsky and sacrifice?

Berlioz and hallucinate?

Shostakovich and mock Stalin

Philip Glass and Philip Glass and Philip Glass and Philip Glass and Philip Glass and…

John cage and sit in silence

Mozart and mock divas

Schubert and stay at our respective homes

Mahler and SMASH!!!

Grainger and *whipnoise*

Tchaikovsky and cannons

poedamerontrashcaneron:

trumpetangst:

violins: the magikarp of instruments, after years living with terrible squeaky, teeth-grinding scrapy music you will be blessed with a powerhouse of emotion that is still somehow overrated

violas: awkward teenager of the strings, but when bold enough to speak actually sounds rather lovely

cello: beautiful bastards who are much smoother than their owners 

bass: big daddy who seems tough but needs the most looking after

flute: levelled up recorder who sacrificed tone for range

piccolo: steam train whistle on speed

oboe: so high maintenance that from what I gather if you start using a different toothpaste the reed might complain

cor anglais: the soul of a goose is trapped inside every one

clarinet: two modes – pompous rooty-tooty or slutty jazzman

bass clarinet: loveable foghorn

bassoon: old gentleman fart machine

contrabassoon: old elephant fart machine

horn: sound can vary from anything between ‘love incarnate’ to ‘surprised cow’

trumpet: used and abused by large egos everywhere, personalities include ‘royal announcer’, ‘moody parisian drinking in a jazz bar in Budapest’ and ‘imperial parp parp’

trombone: chill enough most of the time but secretly relishes going from 1 – 100 with 0 warning and scaring the everloving Jesus out of everyone

bass trombone: like a great dane needs a strong, patient handler

tuba: like a really big, heavy, noisy four year old who sits on your knee for the whole of rehearsal

harp: the musicalisation of an impressionist painting, beautiful but too much time, effort and money are involved for most people

piano: most people’s gateway drug into music

timpani: ‘the shower in a friends house’ at first glance looks simple enough to use, but upon closer inspection complex set up is required to use them effectively.

percussion: like ordering a mystery bag online, you’re provided with a bunch of things you probably will never use or don’t know how to use. If you’re lucky you might get a triangle.

(not intended to be a complete list

tag yourselves, I’m imperial parp parp

paulsrockinpagoda:

presidentobarna:

leaf-jelly:

131-di:

illogicalhumanoid:

brickiestsurgeon:

131-di:

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

talk dirty to me

Have ya’ll seen the double contrabass flute before???

reblogging my own post because what in the fuck

i give you the contrabass tuba. Why is it real. I dont know.

Know what’s even better?

HYPERBASS FLUTE

my counter:

piccolo trombone 

Bari sax: So pure. A gentle giant. But with mighty power you don’t want to have against you
Tenor sax: Sass. Pure sass. So much awesomeness that it is always revered higher than its commoner siblings
Alto sax: Full of great potential but too cocky for its own good
Soprano sax: Can be an angelic cinnamon roll; such golden tone like smoothy smooth honey… or a devilish squeaky tube that shrieks like a music major at juries with worse intonation than a trumpet player on the violin
Sopranino sax: Mouse. Smol, EVIL mouse with a stone-cold heart that will break your eardrums with no regrets
Bass sax: A massive, reverberating crossbreed between a low-frequency chainsaw and a whale screaming at full volume
Contrabass sax: None have been seen in the wild since 1767
Subcontrabass sax: what